Sharks, Sunsets and Spring Break

The past few weeks have been tough, so sorry for the lack of updates. (Also, not being pregnant anymore has removed the system I had in place of updating you weekly on my growing belly and list of aches and pains.)

I’m really tired. The Toddler and I have been at odds a lot this week — he’s definitely struggling with sharing his mom, and I’m struggling to figure out how to split my time and attention between a needy two-year-old and a needy nearly-three-month-old. It’s leaving me feeling epically guilty and negligent of both of them.

Sleep has been hard, naps have been sporadic and interrupted and snatched with whatever terrible crutch I have leaned on. The TV has been on more than I’d like to admit, and we’ve had more grazing all-day junk snacks than lunches lately.

(Serious question: How does one establish anything of a nap routine with an infant when there are big siblings in the house?)

Compounding this unsurprising challenge, I have stretched myself as thin as possible in every other area of my life in the immediate aftermath of having a new baby.

I committed myself to quite a bit of freelance work (which sends The Toddler to daycare twice a week, but guess what: An infant still requires quite a bit of care! Oops.)

I launched the Ladies Craft Beer Society website and have been trying to find the time to develop a plan for both maintaining the website and formalizing some of the aspects of the club that have been pretty relaxed since it was created.

I’m also coordinating the earliest steps of a very exciting project–we’re going to be finishing our basement to essentially double our living space–which has meant a lot of phone calls (with either a rooster  crowing or a screaming toddler or both in the background) and people coming by the house and me having to try to clean.

We’ve been busy with social commitments — fun ones, like getting to go to the Greater Cleveland Aquarium for a birthday party — but those still take energy!

The Dad and The Toddler marveling at an underwater world. I took this picture while nursing Baby 2. I would like to sit in front of a shark tank for all future nursing sessions.

Oh, and we also have goats and chickens (and, Oh God, two hives of bees reserved for the near future) that The (very busy with work) Husband are trying to keep healthy and happy.

It’s no one’s fault but my own, but I’m feeling in pretty over my head right now.

Being present has never been a strength of mine, but I was reminded this week that this is a fleeting time, and although it is exhausting, it’s also beautiful. Baby 2 was having a fussy night on Thursday, and the only thing that calmed him down from a screaming fit was being carried around outside so he could watch the sunset. I had no phone, no lists, no free hands–just the weight of a baby in my arms, the sound of my own voice, and the cold March air on my cheeks.

While my biceps ached by the time the sun finally dipped over the horizon, I figured out that my wise little baby was trying to teach me an important lesson: I just need to put one foot in front of the other and try to look at the bright side when I’m having a tough time. (And also put my effing phone away more often.)

A sunset (but not the one Baby 2 and I watched together this week – I was phoneless and reconnecting with him in the midst of a really tough week.)

Fortunately, The Husband has some time off this week, and we’re going to try to strike a balance between tackling our to-do list, finding time to relax/recharge, and figuring out how to make life slightly less chaotic when he goes back to work. Wish us luck.

Friendship application

FRIENDSHIP APPLICATION – REANNA

Please fill this out to the best of your ability and return to thelastmommyblog@gmail.com. DON’T LIE. I’ll be able to tell.

Your name:

Most interesting social media handle:

1. The latest you would ever call Reanna in the evening is.

A) 7 pm

B) 9 pm

C) 10 pm

D) Trick question. I would only text, and I know Reanna has a DND setting on her phone beginning at 8:30 p.m.

2. You walk into Reanna’s house and notice everything is covered in dog hair and graham cracker crumbs. You feel…

A) Disgusted. You’ll just stand up the whole visit.

B) Aroused. Here’s a freebie: This is the wrong answer.

C) Confused. Reanna doesn’t have a dog?

D) Relieved. You won’t have to clean your house if she ever visits.

3. The best approach to resolving conflict in a friendship is:

A) Stop communicating until enough time has passed that you can both pretend it never happened.

B) Immediately pretend it never happened.

C) Use humor or sarcasm to suppress any real emotions.

D) Have a mature and respectful conversation full of “I feel” statements, but goddamn if I’ll ever be emotionally mature enough to use that approach.

4. Please choose the least reprehensible situation on this list:
A) You are driving in the rain at night.

B) Despite the rain, you arrive safely, but it’s to a party where you only know the host.

C) The party is a LulaRoe sales party.

D) The party ends early due to a small house fire in which no one is injured.

5. True or false: It’s OK to drop in unannounced.

6. You have two free hours to yourself and you can’t take a nap. Which of these activities is most appealing?

A) Mimosa mani-pedis with your friends

B) Go to Target and impulse-spend $75 on household goods then go through the McDonald’s drive thru and eat in secret

C) Hit the gym, intending to sit in the sauna, but you forgot a towel, so you slowly walk on a treadmill while scrolling Instagram

D) Are you sure I can’t nap?

7. Essay question: Disclose an embarrassing moment or confess a guilty pleasure that you think may make you relatable, or at least, unintimidating. Bonus points if it elicits laughter.

This concludes the test portion of the application. Below, please list five references–that is, five cultural references that you believe are central to your identity.

Here’s an example: “Workin’ on my night cheese.”

(You may link to gifs as appropriate.)

Thank you for your interest in befriending Reanna. The committee will review your application and respond within 2-3 weeks.